Forgiving

People find it far easier to forgive others for being wrong than being right. - J. K. Rowling

  Don't gloat; it makes forgiveness even more difficult.

Ladies and Gentlemen

A lady is a woman who makes it easy for a man to be a gentleman. - American Proverb

A gentleman is a man who makes it easy for a woman to be a lady.

Pulling Up

There are two ways of exerting one's strength: one is pushing down, the other is pulling up. - Booker T. Washington


Putting down is the same as pushing down.

Bad Manners

Manners are just a way of showing other people that we have respect for them. - Bill KellyGood

Note that parents who do not teach their children manners end up with disrespectful kids.

One Picture

You know, I've but one picture on my wall

That of my Grandmother

Who I never met at all

You don't see people like her today

No hunch of shoulder

No looking away

Original Sin she didn't know

No sign of guilt or shame

Even remotely show

She has unabashed open pride
Confidence in life
She doesn't hide

Determination is in her eyes
She could do anything

That's no surprise

Cause I've but one picture on my wall

That of my Grandmother

Who I never met at all

Yet I know her better than those

Who have bent my ear

With verse and prose

I've spent a lot of time under her gaze
She's kept me going

Throughout these days

None of which were as tough I'm sure

As those she met boldly
And did endure

I can see she is ready to laugh
The joke being on her

Or on her behalf

Gaiety is there ready to appear
Waiting to burst forth
With hearty cheer

She could dance with the best I'm told

Waltz or polka,

Slow or bold

I wish I could ask the next dance
(That I could keep up 

I'd have to chance)

And at the end I'd say thank you
For more than the turn

But for all you do

For all you've done by being there

To show me the way

That I might dare

For I've but one picture on my wall

That of my Grandmother
Who I'll never meet at all


- Lyle

Trade Etiquette

In order to protect rights or trade, we need a way to do so, and etiquette provides us with such a means. Etiquette is a form of communication which, like language, requires both parties to understand and abide by certain conventions. You could not have morality or trade without language. And all social interactions also require additional commonly-understood protocols. - Gus Van Horn


You have every reason to expect being treated respectfully, honestly and morally even from those who have differing opinions. 


(Other posts on Respect)

The Power of Self-Respect

To free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves - there lies the great, singular power of self-respect. - Joan Didion 


If you are not free from the expectations of others you are a slave.


(Other posts on Respect)

Establish a Reputation

There are two ways of establishing a reputation, one to be praised by honest people and the other to be accused by rogues. It is best, however, to secure the first one, because it will always be accompanied by the latter. - Charles Caleb Colton


......whether you want it to or not.


(Other posts on Respect)

Honor

Honor is self-esteem made visible in action. - Ayn Rand


I ran across this quote the other day and it started me thinking. First to define Honor in dictionary terms:

Dignity. Reputation. Dignified respect of character springing from probity (integrity, honesty),  principle, or moral rectitude (moral uprightness). 

It seems to me we don't use the concept or the word much these days. When was the last time you heard a politician use the word about themselves or a colleague? If they did I think they would be judged as "impractical" or "naive." I myself have been told many times "Oh, come on be practical" when trying to argue a point on moral grounds. The implication is we cannot know what is moral or not so we judge whether to do something on its practicability. So let's see where that takes us if we assume Miss Rand is correct.

If honor is self-esteem in action would you not assume that not acting honorably would damage your self-esteem? Note that I am using the word "self-esteem" in the "self-respect" sense not in the sense it is sometimes used where it refers to an unwarranted or undeserved self image. Isn't any damage done to your self-respect a slippery slope to personal disaster? Think about this the next time you decide to do something because it is the "practical" thing to do. Perhaps you should consider if it is the honorable thing to do.

Real Power

Respect your efforts, respect yourself. Self-respect leads to self-discipline. When you have both firmly under your belt, that's real power. - Clint Eastwood   


What a self-respecting, disciplined individual can do is practically limitless.


(Other posts on Achievement) 

Insults

A gentleman will not insult me, and no man not a gentleman can insult me. - Frederick Douglass 


If you throw out an insult you are not a gentleman.


(Other posts on Manners) 

Snarl for Peace

That they may have a little peace, even the best dogs are compelled to snarl occasionally. - William Feather 

If they don't they are just an underdog.


(Other posts on Respect) 

Manners

Speak modestly, do not put self above others, do not be easily offended, do not retaliate injuries, try not to offend others, look for the good in both friend and foe, be cheerful and pleasant, and freely express affection to friends and loved ones. - Benjamin Franklin

.....but don't put these above doing the right thing.

Formalities

Moving parts in rubbing contact require lubrication to avoid excessive wear. Honorifics and formal politeness provide lubrication where people rub together. Often the very young, the untraveled, the naive, the unsophisticated deplore these formalities as "empty," "meaningless," or "dishonest," and scorn to use them. No matter how "pure" their motives, they thereby throw sand into machinery that does not work too well at best. - Robert Heinlien

When dealing with a new culture learn the formalities first.

Strong Management

Strong managers who make tough decisions to cut jobs provide the only true job security in today's world. Weak managers are the problem. Weak managers destroy jobs. - Jack Welch

In all of life, being strong and acting on your strength generally does not make you popular at the moment - it's a long term investment. 

A Gift From Santa

I found this in an old garage sale trunk. It is a cover to the "Pictorial Gravure Section" of the Sunday Oregonian, December 7, 1930. It was painted by Andrew Loomis with the caption "There IS a Santa Claus." The young lady being presented on a silver platter has a gift tag attached to her ankle which reads "For a Good Boy!"

Now before you go all weird on me with claims of sexism, hear me out.

This was 1930 (even before I was born) but things didn't change very rapidly in those days so I'm sure it was the same as when I was growing up.

This was before women were equal. At that time they weren't - they were special. If the boat was sinking it was "Women and children first." I bet putting "women" before "children" was intentional in this old saying. Women were special - more special than children.

When I was growing up the worst offense you could commit was being disrespectful to your mom or grandmother. If you did it generally got you a whoppin' (1). This punishment was generally carried out in the woodshed (outside the house) because it was not to be seen by the women of the house - they were special - it was a lesson taught to a boy so that he may become an honorable man. The only time I was punished in such a manner was for this very offense and it only took once to see the error of my ways and convince me that women were indeed special. I'm not talking about a simple slap on the wrists nor am I talking about child abuse. It hurt. I knew I had done wrong. I was sent to bed without dinner (2).

"But!" you say "Women didn't originally even have the right to vote!" Look at how our country was formed. It was a Representative Republic. Representatives were elected (Senators, Representatives) and they were originally elected by the men - the head of the households. The men voted as the Representative of their family. They voted for their children, their wives and their country. Times changed and so did the election procedure (or was it the other way around?). The Nineteenth Amendment to the Constitution went into effect in 1920 (ten years before this painting) but women were still special. Perhaps women should mourn (a little bit anyway) the day they became truly equal.

(1) You got a "whopping" rather than a "whipping" because a whip was what was used on a horse or cow. A whip used on these critters is not cruel - their hide is much, much thicker than a kids. A whopping generally was done with dad's belt or a shaving strap (a leather strap used to sharpen a razor). Both were a couple of inches wide.

(2) Being sent to bed without dinner was a punishment about equal to getting a whopping. Though we were never short on calories, I'm sure we were deficient in vitamins. Food was not shipped all over the world and fresh fruit and vegetables was not available in the winter-time. You lived on meat and canned goods. It is possible for your belly to be full but still be hungry.

Birthday Thanks

Don't forget to thank your mom on your birthday. - Lyle

Reverence for Factories

The man who builds a factory builds a temple, that the man who works there worships there, and to each is due, not scorn and blame, but reverence and praise. - Calvin Coolidge



We should honor both the fiddler and the composer for work well done. Too often one is favored over the other. It takes both to make a thing of beauty (factories are beautiful too).

Thanks for the Tractor

A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life depend on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving. - Albert Einstein



Every time I finish a task made infinitely easier with my tractor I shut it off and say to myself "Thank you Mr. Massey. Thank you Mr. Ferguson."

Dirty Mouth

If you push someone’s face in the dirt, don’t be surprised if when they talk to you (or about you) dirt comes out of their mouth. – Anon



No matter how tempting, we all need to remember to speak kindly of others or not say anything.