Augmented Post

Sometimes I have more to say. From a previous post:

You can know the name of a bird in all the languages of the world, but when you're finished, you'll know absolutely nothing whatever about the bird... So let's look at the bird and see what it's doing -- that's what counts. I learned very early the difference between knowing the name of something and knowing something. - Richard Feynman 

Memorization is not education.

Why do many teenagers get into trouble? I think the difference between those that do and those that don't is primarily due to education - not genetics or environment. To further refine this statement - what kind of education is the most important factor. Mr. Feynman gives an example of education which will not prepare a kid for an easier transition to adulthood. Faith based education also fails in this regard. I'm not talking just about religious education but also education given by the parents and teachers which suffer from the "because I say so" attitude. In the one case faith in a religious text and the other, faith in a person of authority, is the cornerstone of the approach. Part of growing up is rebellion against authority. If there is nothing to rely on other than this "faith" the teen is left unguided. 

So what kind of education will stick with the teen during this difficult transition? Learned and integrated principles. Note that I included "integrated" - perhaps the most (if not only) important factor. You can teach a child principles like "stealing is bad" by telling them so but by integrated I mean they also know; why;  what it means to themselves and others; where the principle comes from; what it is connected to and why it is connected. These are essential to integration. Certain tools are required for this integration to occur:  reasoning and logic. Where do these tools come from? Education of course, but if you are going to rely on the school system to teach them you are sorely misguided. Parents teach these things and it take a lot of time - but you've got a dozen or so years, or perhaps I should say you've only got a dozen or so years!

Newborns are very quick to use their apparent ability to reason very early. It goes something like this: I'm hungry; Hunger makes me uncomfortable; Crying gets me fed; Therefore crying gets me fed. It works for them. At a little older age if no other alternative is available then they try throwing a tantrum when they would prefer fast-food over their vegetables. If it works for them then what you get is a young adult who refines the tantrum. My alternative would be to ask the kid for a good reason why fast-food should be chosen over vegetables. To start with you may have to settle for less-than-perfect reasoning but as time goes by require more and more precision. Junk food once in a while won't kill a kid but inability to reason may.


Side note: I really don't like the excuse "She's just a kid." I've taught the basics of Einstein's Theory of Relativity to ten year olds with greater success than to adults. Why teach Relativity to ten year olds? It is a perfect example of stepping outside your realm of experience and finding out that things may not be the same as when you are on familiar ground.


Teach principles. Well founded principles and logical reasoning will go a long way towards protecting against mistakes. Without principles there is little to guide behavior based on emotions. Emotions come from the subconscious and for a time during the transition to adulthood you can expect behavior based solely on emotions. Where do emotions come from? Emotions are an instantaneous reactions based on previous experience. If you teach "Thou shall not steal" as a commandment from an authority, when the time comes that authority is rebelled against then all that is left is the emotion "I want."  Teaching "Thou shall not steal" because it is a violation of another's property rights; I also have property rights; I don't like to have my property stolen; Property rights are the basis of freedom; I want to be free because I'm old enough to know everything; If I steal I may loose my freedom - leads to the emotional response "Stealing is yucky." This is what I mean by integrated principles. The parents goal in teaching integrated principles is so the emotion "I want" leads directly to the thought "Damn, I better go to work to make money so I can have."


There is a place for faith when it comes to teens but the faith should reside with the parent, not the child. If you have done your job well you should have faith your child will make it through the teens and become an enjoyable adult.